The show that wasn’t Portrait, or the perils of running short of time in Edinburgh

Edinburgh diaries 6th August

My schedule goes to pot (happens regularly in Edinburgh). My meeting over runs, and I miss the show I’m meant to be in. Thinking on my feet I head off in a last minute dash to a show on my reserve list. Needless to say it involves a dash from one venue to another, and the clock is ticking. But no matter the producer assures me that latecomers will be admitted.

I’m heading for Portrait – a frank, fun a provocative look at the trials and tribulations of modern life through the eyes of a young black woman. There’s a proper review of the show here.

Ticket purchased I race into the pleasance dome, and get pointed to a set of stairs. I take the left hand one, and am ushered in by a friendly face I recognise from the Everyman Youth Theatre. The only seat left is on the front row.

The lights go down. The show begins.

Only not the show I’m expecting. Yes its about the trials and tribulations of modern life, yes its a character driven piece – but the performer isn’t a young black woman. I’m baffled for a moment, but there’s no where to hide now. Pretty sure I’m in the wrong show the voice in my head goes ‘are you sure – maybe this is a show about the trials and tribulations of modern life seen through the eyes of a black woman, told via the mouth of a young (very tall) white woman’.

The voice in my head is rudely interrupted by the performer asking which internet dating sites we’ve used. What – no – surely – shit, f**k I’m on the front row.

O hell.

The voice in my head switches tack – ‘this is definitely not Portrait, it was the right set of stairs you idiot’.

So instead of Portrait I get a show about the trials of modern day life, and in particular the search for Mr Right via internet dating. Actually its not a bad show, and my petrified face mean’t I didn’t get picked on. (I’d have clammed up anyhow – so I wouldn’t have been much use to the poor comedienne)

I’ve no idea who I saw perform, all I know for sure is, it wasn’t Portrait, and what I saw was certainly unexpected!

Details about Portrait can be found here. I’ll post details of the show I saw when I find them!


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